Why People Get Upset When You Stop Explaining Yourself
There comes a point when you realize you're explaining yourself far more than necessary. Why you couldn't come. Why you said no. Why you needed some time alone. Why you made a particular decision. Why you don't want to do something anymore. You explain. Then you explain the explanation. Then, somehow, you're still trying to convince the other person that your decision is reasonable. And when they remain unhappy, you start wondering: “Did I do something wrong?” Sometimes, you didn't. Sometimes, people get uncomfortable when you stop giving them the explanations they're used to receiving. And learning to sit with that discomfort can be one of the hardest parts of setting healthier boundaries. Why do we explain ourselves so much? Most of us aren't born knowing how to over-explain. We learn it. Maybe you discovered that keeping people happy made relationships feel safer. Maybe saying no was followed by questions, criticism, or disappointment....
